nay ur d best

this entry's special.. i dedicate it my mom.

jst moments ago, i was sitting on the couch watching the replay on the nba game between pheonix and dallas wherein my team, pheonix lost by two points.of course, ive already seen the live game hours before the replay aired. i dont really understandwhy, but somehow i was quite depressed.. something was bothering me at that point. well, whatever i was thinking at that time (damn!just 2 points...), it completelymanifested in my face.
going back,my parents just arrived from the office. so, i stood up from the couchand opened the gates for them. afterwards, i head back to the couch and continued watching attentivley to the game. upon entering the living room(where i was sitting like a bum in the couch), my mom saw me and suddenly came up to me and said:
"hunny may problema ba?"

i replied:
"uh? wala ma.."

she answered:
"you look sad.. u ok ha..?"

i replied:
"im jst watching tv ma...im ok..."

she answered:
"nagwo-worry ako sayo anak. ayokong nakikita kitang malungkot..u sure ur ok ha.."

i replied:
"i..i.. im ok.."

then she went straight to the dining room to take some dinner.
You may not understand me but when my mom said those few words, i alomost cried a tear. From that very moment when said those words until the time i finished the replay, alli can think about was how much do i really love my mom. Then I remembered all the things I did which hurt her the most. Among them, were my recent grades.. recalling the 2 failing subjetcsI had, those really hurt her. Now, i know why it hurts her. Its not because she spends theentire day working like hell to get me educated in a very expensive instution and i, in return, gives her 2 failing subjects. Rather it was because, she cares for me a lot. She cares aboutmy future, my life ahead, my dreams, my hopes and even my mistakes. That is why when said thosewords, "nagwo-worry ako sayo anak. ayokong nakikita kitang malungkot" natauhan ako. Natauhan akobecause Im so stupid. Natauhan ako because, I feel Ive done nothing but failure. Natauhan ako because, my mom loves me so much..but it seems that i dont return the same love she gives.

I love my mom. She means a lot to me. She doesn't know it but when she prepares breakfast for meor prepares my baon, it starts my day right..and it makes me smile almost the entire day. When Imsick, she would skip office just to stay with me at the house to comfort me.. and she dosen'tknow that it helps make me feel better when shes around. Or when she talks to me about things in life, she doesn't know it but all things she shared to me, i kept it all in my head and in my heart.I love her so much but my actions just dont speak the way my heart speaks.. I am guilty. Guilty to all my actions that hurt her which i didnt mean to.

If words are my only way to express how much I love my Mom, then I'll use it. I love you Mom.I might sound like Im not for real, but I am. I love you Mom. I love you so much..